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However, the people we admire the most are those who are honest and truthful. This is a practice for those who have learned to be passive aggressive. We often tend to play games with people by not being open and honest. Regardless of the situation, try to keep in mind how listening to the speaker can bring value to the other person and to the engagement. A good habit to get into in scenarios like that is to ask, "Are you telling me this to bounce ideas off of me or because you are asking me for my help?" For more insight, take a look at this article in Forbes: 5 Questions You Can Ask Instead of 'How Are You?' Better yet, consider how eliminating small talkis better for you and can increase your happiness. Such a thing can be very helpful with someone who presents something that might be a need. If you are not sure what the point of the talk is, then simply and politely ask for clarification. If it's small talk then you can help the listener by presenting something to the conversation that brings value to it and the other person. Still other occasions the speaker is communicating a need for an answer or assistance. Other times it's to present information, for whatever the reason. There are those who think out loud, so as a listener you just happen to be present as they are trying to process their thoughts. Sometimes it's merely to test the relationship, as often happens with small talk. Speak to help the listener.Ĭommunicate with the intention of helping the listener.
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Check out How to Improve Your Listening Skills. We tend to focus our minds on what we are going to say or how we will answer rather than focusing upon and understanding what the speaker is trying to communicate. Most of us hear but do not really listen. Take time to focus on what the other person is doing and saying.